Rihanna flashes some cleavage while in Paris!

It never seemed to me like Rihanna has any issues with getting any man she wants. But it’s startling to realize that she really hasn’t had an official boyfriend or established hook-up since the thing with Drake imploded last year. Even then, the Drake thing was on-and-off for so long, and I’m sure she quietly had some sidepieces in every city. My point is that it was never like Rihanna entered a nunnery. My point is that “poor single Rihanna” has never been part of her branding. If she’s single, she’s single by choice. If she’s banging some guy and we don’t know about it, that’s because she doesn’t want us to know about it. And if she’s banging some guy and she wants us to know about it, she’ll allow the photos to come out:

That tongue action is making me hot, no joke. Like, I’m turned on by how Rihanna and Mystery Dude seem to be SO into each other. So who is the guy? I don’t know. TMZ doesn’t know either. The photos – there are more, which you can see here at TMZ – were taken in Spain on Monday, where she’s apparently on vacation in a “posh villa.” Is her new boyfriend Spanish? That’s hot. No one knows if he’s Spanish though. Some eagle-eyed peeps in Rihanna’s Army did notice something strange: Mystery Hottie looks oddly like a guy seen around with Naomi Campbell:

But still no one can ID this guy? Hmm…

And as one does when your pop culture avatar/spirit animal is getting some, people threw a party at the prospect of Rihanna banging some hot dude all over a Spanish villa. Rihanna is living her best life. I realize that most of the cackling is about all the emo songs Drake will write after viewing those photos, but will anyone think of poor Kevin Durant? Man finally got a championship ring and Rihanna still won’t call him back.

The 69th Parsons Benefit

Photos courtesy of WENN, BACKGRID.