One of my favorite things on the internet from the past few months was the tweet, below, from someone who was, like, rewatching (?) that Tom Cruise movie, Valkyrie. Cruise made Valkyrie in 2008 – it was based on the true story of one of the many plots to kill Adolf Hitler during the war. I’ve actually never seen the film, and as I sat here and read about it, I realized that I was completely wrong about what I thought this film was actually about. I thought Cruise was playing Erwin Rommel this whole time! He didn’t. He played Lieutenant Colonel Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg. Stauffenberg was severely injured in a desert battle. When Cruise was filming that battle scene, this happened on camera:
hello, please, i present the theory that for one single shot in Valkyrie (2008), at 5:12, tom cruise wears a fake butt. observe: pic.twitter.com/Tw6yTbsQUe
— swizz keats (@iluvbutts247) August 20, 2017
So for more than a month, people have been like, “So Tom Cruise wore an ass of lies in Valkyrie, huh?” I’ll admit, this still absolutely makes it look like a Pippa Middleton-esque ass of lies. This might even be a Kardashian-esque Pinocchio Butt. But according to Tom Cruise, this was not an ass of lies. This was not a stunt bum. This was 100% authentic Cruise ass work.
When Screen Rant sat down with Cruise to discuss his new film, true-life crime thriller American Made, we put the controversy to Tom. He was unaware of the meme and, in no uncertain terms, happily shot the talk down: “I have no idea. There was no prosthetic in Valkyrie. No.”
This would seem to draw a line under all the speculation and joking about fake rear-end. As you’ll see in our full interview with Cruise and director Doug Liman later this week, Cruise seemed unaware of the internet joke, finding the very idea of it causing a stir humorous. Whether he’s deflecting from an obvious cushion or similar we don’t know, but it would seem the official line is that the “fake butt” is all an illusion.
The conversation came from a very specific running gag in American Made where Cruise’s character repeatedly moons his family when leaving on his increasingly dangerous travels. We asked Cruise about that and, again, he made clear it was all him: “It’s me. It’s not CGI, it’s me. I do my own mooning in films. So let it be known – I do my own mooning.”
Personally, I believe that Cruise has had significant “work” over the years. I think that’s why he makes those mysterious trips to South America – Brazilian plastic surgeons. To be fair, he doesn’t really go overboard with it. He never steps out with an entirely new face. He just wants to look Forever Young, or Forever 30-something. What I’m saying is that I wouldn’t put it past Tom to be down for some Brazilian ass work (in SO MANY WAYS). So, while I’ll believe that Tom has probably had various body parts worked on over the years, I’m not 100% positive that Valkyrie was Exhibit A in The Mysterious Case of Tom Cruise’s Bubble Butt.
Photos courtesy of WENN, MGM.