Michelle Obama SXSW 2016 Keynote

You know how the GOP’s cause du jour is “voter fraud”? They don’t actually care about ensuring that eligible voters are able to vote quickly and efficiently, mind you. The “voter fraud” issue is a way to suppress the vote, specifically in communities of color and with younger voters. The actual cases of “dead people voting” or people voting in two states are pretty rare. Still, Republicans don’t mind spending millions of dollars investigating voter fraud. Turns out, they didn’t even have to go that far. You know how Jared Kushner is SO BAD at filling out forms (especially security clearance forms!) or even following simple instructions like maybe don’t conduct your White House business on a private email account? Well, guess who’s registered to vote as a woman? You can see the copy of his voter registration here at Wired.

Since moving into his White House office months ago, Jared Kushner—senior adviser and son-in-law to the President, savior of the Middle East, and possible person of interest in a federal investigation—has amassed a rather extensive project portfolio. The issues under Kushner’s purview include negotiating peace between Israel and Palestine, fixing the opioid crisis, updating technology across the entire federal government, and spearheading criminal justice reform, to name just a few. It seems like a nearly impossible set of challenges for anyone to tackle, and even more so for Kushner. Because in addition to not having any previous government experience, the former real estate exec has demonstrated repeated difficulty filling out simple, routine forms correctly. This includes his own voter registration form.

According to the records held by the New York State Board of Elections, Jared Corey Kushner is a woman.

Is Kushner a woman? Did he just accidentally fill out the form incorrectly? Is he the victim of a malicious voter impersonation scheme? Unfortunately, there’s absolutely no way to know for sure, because he has yet to provide WIRED with a comment. But based on his recent history with paperwork, option two seems like a pretty safe bet.

[From Wired]

Wired goes on to recap Precious Jared’s history of “being bad at filling out forms,” from needing to update his security clearance disclosure form THREE SEPARATE TIMES, to failing to disclose any foreign entanglements on those same forms (whoopsie!) to listing the wrong graduation dates, to forgetting about that meeting with the Russian operatives in June 2016. Let’s face it though, the fact that he’s registered to vote as a woman makes a lot of sense. He’s either clinically terrible at filling out forms, or he’s actually a woman. Yes, I’m saying Jaredina Kushner has Yentl’d her way through life and now she’s in the White House, trying to avoid her father-in-law’s gropes. PAPA CAN YOU HEAR ME?

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