Countless conspiracy theories have captured our nation’s imagination over the years.
Was the moon landing fake? Did the CIA collaborate with a foreign government to assassinate JFK? What sort of hallucinogens did network execs to believe it was possible for Megyn Kelly to rebrand herself as Fun Time Morning Meg?
All important questions, to be sure, but none of them will impact future generations quite as much as the goings-on within Kylie Jenner’s uterus.
In case the cave you’re living in on Mars doesn’t have reliable wi-fi, allow us to fill you in on the news that rocked the celebrity gossip world last week:
Kylie Jenner is pregnant, and her fans are triggered, and they can’t even, but they’re also like, “YAAAAS, KWEEN!!!”
Are we doing this Millennial slang thing right?
Anyway, the announcement came on the heels of news that Kim Kardashian is expecting a third child via surrogate.
Not surprisingly, it didn’t take long before one of social media’s sharpest sleuths deduced (possibly while very stoned) that Kylie might be carrying Kim and Kanye’s child!
Here’s the thing about this particular theory:
We suppose it’s remotely possible … but it’s also profoundly stupid.
For one thing, a number of biographical details about Kim’s surrogate have already been released.
We know that she’s a married, African-American mother of two in her late twenties who lives in San Diego and has been a surrogate in the past.
Since none of those things can be said of Kylie, we assume it’s safe to say that Kim didn’t hire her 20-year-old sister to
Actually, we’re pretty sure that was safe to say from the get-go.
But this is 2017, a time in which many people operate under the belief that the most amusing explanation is probably the most accurate.
As a result, the “Kylie is Kim’s surrogate” theory spread across social media with surprising speed.
Is it nonsense?
Of course it is! But as long as there’s the slightest possibility that it could be true, it’ll circulate on Twitter until the End Times.
After all, this is the same internet that hears Alex Jones screaming that the Sandy Hook massacre was a hoax and Hillary Clinton is a literal lizard person from another planet, and encourages him to elaborate on his lunatic ramblings.
Compared to psycho ravings like that, a tweet about Kylie carrying her sister’s baby seems pretty damn believable.
We live in interesting times, folks.