The Met Gala 2017

Kylie Jenner is the latest Kardashjenner to get her own stand-alone reality show. Kylie’s show is called Life of Kylie, and it debuted last night on E!. Pity all of the other networks who have to try to program anything on Game of Throne Night, for real. Obviously, I did not watch Life of Kylie and I probably wouldn’t have watched it even if Game of Thrones wasn’t on. Thankfully, People Magazine did a recap and assembled a treasury of inane quotes from the show’s premiere. Enjoy.

On people who say she has the perfect life: “[I] laugh. In their face. Nobody has a perfect life. The only different thing about me, or out of the ordinary, really, is probably just that I have nice things. But what you realize when you get there — when I know I could buy any car, any house — is that that happiness lasts two seconds… That’s not my real happiness, that’s not where I find happiness. I’m so blessed that I got to experience this at such a young age and learn that, so now I can find what really is going to make me happy.”

On the “two sides” to her: “There’s an image that I feel constantly pressured to keep up with. In order to stay relevant for the public, I have to be on Instagram and I have to be on Snapchat just keeping people entertained. And then there’s who I really am around my friends. That’s who I want you guys to get to know. It’s way easier for me to post on Snapchat or Instagram than it is to be out in public. I just feel like for so long I’ve been putting on this different persona to the world — I felt like I started to depend on social media, feeling the need to post all the time. I feel like I have to keep up this idea of who I am. I think I lost a lot of parts of myself.”

On feeling like an outcast: “I have a soft spot for the outcasts because I guess I was the outcast in a lot of ways, growing up. I still feel like an outcast in different ways now — because I can’t relate to a lot of people. I had to get home-schooled, not really because I wanted to but because I missed so much school because I was working. It’s hard to feel normal. Because I always want to feel normal, that’s the goal in my life. I started filming Keeping Up with the Kardashians when I was 9 years old. I really don’t know what it’s like to not have everyone know who I am. I don’t know what it’s like to live a normal life, where people just don’t know who you are, to get out of the car and not have everyone stare at you. I feel like when you grow up on camera, people think that they know you because you’re on social media so much and you’re on reality TV.”

On why she always flies private: “I’m really not bougie like that. I don’t care, all planes are pretty. It’s just a lot of people at the airport — everyone just taking pictures of you when you’re just trying to be in sweats. I just don’t like the airport. It scares me.”

On whether she wants kids: “I do want kids. Who doesn’t want kids? My dogs feel like my little kids.”

On taking the perfect selfie: “Posting a selfie is hard because it’s a lot of pressure. It has to be perfect. I check the comments right when I post. If they’re like: ‘What the f— is this Kylie?’ then I delete that s— super fast and reevaluate my decision!”

On paying the price for life in the spotlight: “I for sure didn’t choose this life, but I’m not going to say that I’m totally innocent, because I am keeping up this lifestyle. I know I’m making myself more famous by having an Instagram and posting photos, but I’m not that type of person where I want all the attention. I don’t like that. It actually freaks me out, because it reminds me that I’m ‘Kylie f—ing Jenner.’ A lot of people have it worse than me. It’s just it is a lot to handle. Sometimes, I’m like: ‘This is it. I’m going insane.’ I feel like this fame thing is going to come to an end sooner than we think. I’m getting the bug again, where I just want to run away. I just don’t know who I’m doing it for.”

[From People]

Life of Kylie might be an interesting psychological and sociological experiment to witness, possibly as the last gasp of this family’s cling to fame, relevancy and public interest. And all of it falls on the shoulders of someone who could take or leave “fame.” Kylie is obviously a really, really screwed up young woman. Most of it is simply how she was raised by that mother, and I’ll say what I always say: Kylie would have been better off being raised by wolves. Instead, she was raised to believe that she should live on camera, that she should carve up her face and body until she became a living doll. She was also raised to not believe in education, whatsoever. Among all of the lies the Kardashjenners tell, I’m consistently irritated by the lies about why Kendall and Kylie needed to be “home schooled.” Kendall and Kylie are both dumb as dirt, and their home schooling was a f–king joke, clearly.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Kylie’s IG.