1. Texting “haha and then what?”

2. Listening to OAR in 2009

3. Saying “well, I had a bun before it was cool”

4. Yelling Chainsmokers lyrics after a two drinks

5. “Showering… can I come?”

6. Majoring in Sports Medicine or Criminal Justice

7. Ironically using the boomerang feature on Instragram

8. Alternating between calling Instagram “Insta” and “The Gram”

9. A little man named Davey Matthews

10. Wearing an old Detroit Pistons basketball jersey to a concert

11. Wearing a green Red Sox St. Patrick’s Day hat to a concert

12. Wearing a backpack with no shirt on, also at a concert

13. Wearing a tank top with huge block letters that says, like, “I LIKE TO PARTY” in giant letters, again at a concert

14. Talking about how good Rugrats was

15. Having an extensive collection of flannels

16. Shoes with no socks

17. Showing up at the bar in a Romphim “just for laffs” but secretly liking being like “Hell. Yea.”

18. Texting you to see if they can buy weed off you

19. Splitting the check with Barbie on a first date

20. Asking Barbie to borrow her conditioner

21. Talking about that “I love bacon” phase they went through six years ago

22. Picking up a guitar and just riffin’

23. But only knowing how to play The General on the guitar

24. “Bringing back” Hawaiian shirts

25. “Bringing back” short shorts

26. Having two older sisters

27. Saying “yo you see Barstool yesterday?”

28. Owning 4-5 deep V necks

29. Arguing about Wonder Woman

30. Still complaining about the ending “Lost”

31. Sugar-free Red Bull

32. Ironically using that flower crown Snapchat filter but really loving it

33. Watching Bravo shows

34. Really, really trying to talk about Bravo shows to prove they watch Bravo shows

35. Not being afraid to wear pink

36. Ignition (Remix)

37. Wearing leggings at the gym

38. Taking pics of himself wearing leggings at the gym

39. Sometimes wearing shorts OVER his leggings at the gym

40. Tribal print shirts

41. Animal print shirts

42. Scoop neck tank tops

43. Talking about how his wireless headphones “grew on him”

44. Having a tiny dog

45. Giving that tiny dog a matching man bun and ‘gramming it

46. Being unafraid to use emojis

47. Wearing shorts to work

48. Having an “octobeard” after No Shave November

49. Saying “it’s not a man bun, it’s just a bun!”

50. Having juuuuuust not enough hair for a man bun

51. Wearing some beaded bracelets

52. Ankle bracelets

53. Artisanal coffee

54. Artisanal cheese

55. Artisanal spectacles

56. Toms

57. Going to spin class

58. “Getting into yoga”

59. Tiny bathing suits

60. Trying the newest Starbucks Frappuccinos

61. Telling the barista at Starbucks that Barbie’s drink is “on me”

62. Cracking their iPhone screen and never getting it fixed

63. Liking Bernie Sanders but forgetting to vote in the primaries

64. Studying abroad in Australia

65. Shotgunning a beer after already drinking, like, four

66. Tagging their friends on thefatjewish posts

67. Passionately arguing that Mexican food is wayyy better in California

68. One Republic, probably

69. Always asking “You hear the new Drake?”