If you watch Vanderpump Rules online, then you’re probably aware that the bulk of the show’s most recent season was devoted to planning and preparing for the wedding of Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney.
It was an interesting choice from a narrative perspective, as viewers have never been that crazy about the Dueling Bubbas as a couple, but it paid off in the form of gender-bending bachelor parties and numerous cameos from Tequila Katie.
And to top it all off, Schwartz and Maloney’s wedding was a genuine tearjerker, complete with earnest vows and a weird scene in which Stassi Schroeder opened up to her mom about crying after orgasms.
None of that was enough to make us forget that Tom and Katie have the most dysfunctional relationship since the other Tom and Katie, but it was a surprisingly heartfelt finale from a cast that’s usually more concerned with other throbbing organs.
All in all, we wouldn’t say we’re stunned by reports that there’s Bubba trouble going on, but we are surprised that the Schwartzes weren’t able to keep up appearances a bit longer.
Reports of Tom and Katie’s struggles come from their mutual “friend” Jax Taylor, who’s not the most reliable source on … well, anything, really, but he’s still creating quite a stir with one of his latest tweets.
“What up with your boy Schwartz? Marriage over?” a fan asked Taylor.
“Yeah he dipped out of the country,” Jax Taylor explained.
“He said f this and left. Apparently going on a poker tour was more important.”
Now, it’s entirely possible that Jax is joking.
But if that’s the case, he picked a rather strange topic to kid around about.
Tom and Katie getting a quickie divorce is way too plausible a scenario to be funny.
It’s like joking about Trump bringing about a nuclear apocalypse.
Stuff that seems incredibly likely to actually happen just doesn’t elicit the LOLs, ya know?
It’s worth noting that Schwartz, usually a frequent tweeter, hasn’t posted anything to Twitter in over a week.
Katie has tweeted, but she hasn’t mentioned Tom, and you’d have to go back to March to find a photo of the couple on her Instagram.
So maybe Tom and Katie haven’t called it quits yet – but it sounds like they’re not exactly jumping on Oprah’s couch about how much they love married life.