Chrissy Teigen is on the cover of Marie Claire. I don’t know why, I’m not sure what she’s promoting other than herself but OMG – I love the editorial. The photographer captures her beautifully and I’m reminded that Chrissy really is a good model. I like that Gucci dress on the cover, which surprises me because it’s not my normal style.
But Chrissy’s brand is more “straight-talker” than model these days. She’s got Lip Sync Battle with LL Cool J and her cookbooks but she is also making a profession of being unfiltered, whether it’s showing her stretch marks, speaking about her postpartum depression, postingmessy drinking pics or saying whatever pops into her mind at that moment, which is exactly what happened during this interview. What started out with me nodding my head in agreement, ended with me reaching for the brain bleach.
On expanding her family: “I would definitely adopt or have foster children. But I loved being pregnant. Maybe I should be scared [of having PPD again], but I don’t know. It couldn’t be any worse than it was – could it?”
On being too honest: “I’m the person who had the fake ID in high school and college, and I would show it and be like, ‘I’m sorry; it’s fake,’ and run off. I don’t know if it’s way too honest or way too anxious – maybe it’s a combo of both.”
The one part of her body she didn’t think John ever saw: “John and I had a double date, and we were joking around, and I go, ‘John’s never seen my butthole.’ And John says, ‘Are you kidding? Every time anyone does anything doggy style, you see a butthole. I see it every time.’ I was like, ‘We are never doing it doggy style again.’”
Her feelings on exercise: “I know I should exercise for mental reasons…I need to see Simone De La Rue; I always feel great after I see her. In L.A., there’s never any fucking parking. So for someone who doesn’t already love working out, nothing’s selling you on it.”
The one thing Teigen won’t do: “I can’t dance. I don’t take choreography very well. I will twerk.”
As for the TMI bit, at first, I rolled my eyes. Trust me, I have no problem talking about sex with those willing to listen. And sometimes, when your partner’s left you light-headed and beaming, you can’t wait to broadcast that sh-t. But even I wouldn’t discuss my booty at dinner while on a double date. I’m having trouble coming up with a scenario in which, “John’s never seen my butthole,” gets inserted seamlessly into conversation, you know? But ultimately, I got snagged by the fact that Chrissy never reached that conclusion. It makes me a little sad that she’s willing to make herself sound stupid just to get a shocking comment in the headlines. But she did it. When I Googled Chrissy’s name while writing this, virtually every headline had that quote. And why does John play along? Is this who he is at the end of the day as well?
For the rest of it, I can be much more positive. I, too, loved being pregnant and I legitimately outed myself while trying to pass off a fake ID. I can fib to get out of going to a party or something but most of the time, you can see everything you need to know on my face. It does save me from having to keep my stories straight, though. I also like that Chrissy isn’t pretending she doesn’t work out, she’s just saying she’s not a huge fan of it. And I swear that parking at L.A. gyms is the reason I took up street running instead. So I am back to where I always am with Chrissy: I can take or leave her as a celebrity. I do think she would be exhausting as a friend, though. Like, I’d laugh a lot with her over a glass of wine but after a while, I’d need to fib about some issue at home so I could leave.
Photo credit: Michelangelo Di Battista/Marie Claire