Diplo is one of those super weird enigmatic people who seldom takes things seriously and sometimes just says whatever off-the-walls stuff pops into his mind.
And let’s just say that his response to Katy Perry’s reluctant diss about his sexual performance is very, very on-brand.
Okay, so Katy Perry did this multi-day livestream thing that we don’t and will never understand.
It’s something about launching herself as the new, much realer Katy or relaunching herself or … whatever.
Part of it involved a guest appearance by James Corden, who played a game of Truth or Dare with Katy.
He asked her to rank three of her lovers for their bedroom skills, and she answered that John Mayer was best, followed by Orlando Bloom.
With Diplo rated last among the three. Womp womp.
To be clear, Katy was emphatic that all three had plenty of bedroom skills. For whatever that’s worth.
We have no idea if Katy reached out to her exes to give them a heads up about the question and her answer.
But when Diplo saw a clickbait headline on Twitter — “Katy Perry says Diplo is worse at sex than John Mayer and Orlando Bloom” — he responded as only Diplo can.
“I don’t even remember having sex.”
His tweet was totally deadpan, without a single emoji to help us figure out his tone.
Now, we’re sure that he’s joking.
But it looks like he was firing back at Katy Perry, suggesting that sex with her isn’t memorable.
Which is silly. Like, you can be on the Katy Perry hate train all you want, but you’d remember banging her even if you didn’t date.
He also included a follow-up tweet with a photo of himself above the crowd at a concert.
“I won the bronze metal [sic] in sex olympics.”
This time complete with an emoji of a bronze medal.
Which we assume is what he meant in the first place, unless he thinks that Olympians are awarded with lumps of ore.
Now, that’s a super positive way of characterizing coming in third place out of three.
If Katy Perry had been ranking her entire cast of past lovers — which isn’t actually that many, even though she’s 32 and hot — and he’d come in third, sure.
But you don’t really get a bronze medal for third out of three. That’s last place, buddy.
We think that he knows that, though, and that he’s just … being Diplo about it.
And, honestly, having known him for a while (not to mention known him), Katy had to have known that he’d be the one to publicly respond.
In a way, she did him a favor.
She didn’t make him out to be a sex god, sure.
But she did remind the public that he exists.