2017 Billboard Music Awards Arrivals

As we discussed several days ago, as part of Katy Perry’s Witness Live Stream – wherein Katy Perry live-streamed her life on YouTube for four solid days – Katy ended up “ranking” three of her ex-lovers. Her three last significant relationships were with John Mayer, Orlando Bloom and Diplo. The Diplo thing only lasted a few months, from what I remember, and it fell in between the Mayer nonsense and the Orlando stuff. Out of those three guys, the only one I would touch – but only after he was showered and de-loused – would be Diplo. John Mayer and Orly are both a giant “NO” for me, bang-wise. But Diplo is just my greasy, sleazy type for a one-night stand. Still, when Katy was asked to rank those three guys as lovers, Diplo came in last and John Mayer came in first. Katy tried to be nice about it, saying: “They’re all amazing lovers, and I would have sex with all of them when I get out of this place!”

So, long story short, Diplo felt the need to respond. And yes, “Young Ric Flair” is his current Twitter handle.

I know he’s trying to be funny and act like he’s not taking Katy seriously, but I loathe the response of “I don’t even remember having sex.” HATE IT. Katy was doing a silly thing with James Corden and she made it clear that she wasn’t saying Diplo was bad in bed, just that he wasn’t as good as Orlando Bloom or John Mayer (barf). I get that Diplo was insulted. But don’t act like you don’t even remember having sex with Katy Perry for the love of God. Katy probably doesn’t care though. If the d–k wasn’t good, she’s probably like “good riddance, whatever.”

Also: what is wrong with me that I would still shame f–k him?? I HAVE ISSUES.

The Met Gala 2017

Photos courtesy of WENN.