Angelina Jolie leaving the Presidential Palace

I basically only know Kelly Rohrbach for a handful of reasons. One, she dated Leonardo DiCaprio for less than a year and two, she managed to launch a career for herself off of that connection. Kelly was a barely-know swimsuit model when she met Leo and thanks to the work of her publicist, we were gifted with glowing stories about how Kelly was the only woman who could truly tame Leo because she was and is such a guy’s girl and she’s so cool, etc. And then she aged out of The Leo D Girlfriend Experience (she turned 25) and they weren’t together anymore but that was fine because she already had a role in the Baywatch movie. Which brings us to present day. Kelly covers the new issue of Cosmopolitan to promote her part. She tells Cosmo that all this time, her “type” is more of the funny Jonah Hill kind of guy. Er…

The one crucial update to the iconic red one-piece she wears in Baywatch: “It’s scuba material, which is awesome because it’s literally like wearing Spanx that suck you right in. I was like, cheeseburgers, no problem. Just zip that thing up and it’s like it never happened.”

Her “type” may surprise you: “Originally, my romantic interest, played by Jon Bass, is a Jonah Hill type. It was written that he had a big crush on [C.J.] and she’s kind of a bitch to him. I kept thinking, I would love this guy. I would hook up with him. He’s the funniest character, and to me, humor is the sexiest thing.”

She urged the director of Baywatch to rewrite her character C.J.: “I wasn’t interested in playing the hot-girl role. I didn’t want her to be an object but rather a dynamic, real person.”

Her siblings have always kept her in check: “I was 5 foot 9 when I was 12. My siblings would tease me and call me big friendly or freaky giant, and later, when I was approached about modeling, they would joke, ‘The BFG is gonna be a model? That clunky thing? They know how to keep me in check all right.”

[From Cosmopolitan]

That’s right, peeps. Kelly was with Leo because he’s a funny Jonah Hill type. This whole time, she was only attracted to Leo’s personality and humor!! To be fair, I think one of the requirements of The Leo D Girlfriend Experience is that you have to laugh at all of the Wolf-King’s jokes. As for the rest of it… she “urged the director of Baywatch to rewrite her character C.J.” Didn’t she just arrive in Hollywood two seconds ago? And now suddenly she has the power to urge the director to rewrite a role for her?

Also: as for those rumors about Kelly possibly romancing Aaron Rodgers…the official explanation is that Kelly and Aaron are “just friends” who “golf together” sometimes. Don’t misconstrue a golf-date as, like, an actual date. She likes funny Jonah Hill types, remember? She would never go for a nice-looking quarterback.

Angelina Jolie leaving the Presidential Palace

Photos courtesy of James Macari/Cosmopolitan.