3. Well, I have some good news. The jobs on the upcoming season of The Bachelorette (which premieres on Monday) are NEXT LEVEL, much like this dramatic overhead shot:

4. First up, there’s Lucas. His job is a whaboom. Yes, you read that correctly…

5. W-H-A-B-O-O-M. Whaboom. As in…. whaaaaa the fuck?

I have no idea what a whaboom is. All Chris Harrison will say is, “It’s hard to explain, but it’s a lifestyle.” YEAH OKAY CHRIS HARRISON.

6. But I don’t even think the WHABOOM is the craziest, because I’m sure it’ll maybe make sense in context or something. The craziest job this season goes to Jonathan, who is a self-proclaimed TICKLE MONSTER.

7. Let’s be real, he LOOKS like the kind of guy who identifies as a tickle monster.

9. Check out all of Rachel’s guys before the big premiere here. (The rest of them have pretty normal jobs, TBH. SO BORING.)

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