1. Confession time: I spend a lot more of my time thinking about Train than I’d like to admit. Like, did you know there are this many people in Train????

Do you think they do The Locomotion ever????

2. Train, if you’re somehow unfamiliar, is a band that became famous in 2001 with the song “Drops of Jupiter,” which is about talking like summer and walking like rain and painting with all the colors of the wind maybe?

3. The lead singer is named Patrick Monahan, but he will be referred to as TRAIN for the remainder of this post to make things easier.

4. TRAIN is very active on Twitter, and spends time answering *burning* questions from inquiring minds like myself. Recently, someone asked TRAIN a question I’ve had for many moons: Is Virginia of “Meet Virginia” fame based on a real person or nah? This is what TRAIN said.

5. “She’s real parts of real woman that make up a woman that I’ve always wanted to meet.”

6. So, to clarify, no she’s not a real woman. She just has many qualities that REAL women have…

7. Well, if that is the case, I am here to help you find your IRL Virginia, TRAIN! Thank me later. Ladies, please take a moment to check all answers that apply to you so that I can send the best match to TRAIN:

    1. You don’t own a dress

    2. Your hair is always a mess

    3. Catch you stealin’ you won’t confess

    4. You’re beautiful

    5. You smoke a pack a day

    6. (Wait that’s Train, but anyway)

    7. You don’t care a thing about that hair

    8. You think Train is beautiful

    9. You never compromise

    10. You love babies

    11. And surprises

    12. (And…surprise babies???)

    13. You wear high heels when you exercise

    14. You want to be the queen

    15. JK YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN

    16. Your daddy wrestles alligators

    17. Your mama works on carborators

    18. Your brother is a fine mediator for the president

    19. You hate to be alone

    20. You like to sit at home and rip on the president

    21. You want to live your life

    22. JK YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA LIVE THIS LIFE

    23. You only drink coffee at midnight

    24. Your timing is quite…unusual???

    25. Your confidence is tragic

    26. Your intuition tho… it’s MAGIC!

    27. The shape of your body is unusual (like your timing)

    28. You want to be the queen again

    29. JK YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN

    30. YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN

    31. YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN

Train Reveals Who Inspired Virginia In “Meet Virginia”

    9. Basically you need to be a pants-wearing, messy, law-breaking, pretty, smoking, stubborn, baby-loving, impractical-gym-dressing, late-night-coffee-drinking, unusual person whose family enjoys alligators, carborators and the president and really can’t fucking decide whether she wants to be the QUEEN or not. Good luck with that!

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