John Mayer is in the midst of some sort of douchiness apology tour.
The idea is to make the public forgive him for his many years of being a douche, but ironically, the whole venture is tremendously douchey.
Through confessional ballads and self-deprecating interviews, Mayer is attempting to turn back the clock to a time when the mention of his name didn’t conjure up images of a text left on “read” for four days and an anxious wait for the results of a VD test.
Mayer’s redemption campaign has mostly been harmless (and ineffective), but now it seems he’s dialing the whole thing up to 11 by attempting to worm his way back into the life of one of his most famous exes.
Yes, sources say Mayer is trying to win back Katy Perry.
It might seem like a ludicrous proposition, but believe it or not, Mayer and Perry have gotten back together several times since their original breakup, so it’s not that crazy for John to think she’d be willing to give him another shot.
Fortunately, Katy is older and wiser these days, and it seems she’s far less susceptible to Mayer’s BS.
According to Life & Style, Mayer recently tried to swoop in on Katy following her breakup with Orlando Bloom.
The singer reportedly sent his ex a massive bouquet of 100 roses to her house, along with a note reading, “I’m here for you.”
According to a source close to the situation, Katy was having none of that, and she immediately had the bouquet donated to a nearby nursing home.
To make sure that Mayer got the message, she then had her assistant send a pic of the flowers – presumably just chillin’ in the middle of the bingo room – to John’s phone.
“She’s horrified that he’s pining for her so publicly,” an insider tells the tabloid.
“She’s hardened her heart against him.”
Unfortunately for Katy, it seems Mayer has no intention of giving up:
“He’s desperate to convince her he’s a changed man, but she’s told friends she’ll get rid of anything he sends her,”
You’re barking up the wrong tree, John!
Katy Perry isn’t impressed by massive flower arrangements and grand declarations of love.
They’ll only get you a restraining order and a sternly-worded letter from attorneys.
Um … at least that’s what we’ve heard. From a friend.