I’m cocooned by my Trump Fatalism Syndrome for the most part – once you let go and understand that everything is awful and Emperor Baby Fists will kill us all, you can really find some semblance of peace. But every now and then, something interrupts that fatalistic cocoon. Usually that interruption involves Emperor Bigly screaming at someone and waving his baby fists. This time, the interruption is none other than Attorney General Jeff Sessions, a racist squirrel from the 1950s who happened to find himself in the position of the nation’s top lawyer. Wait, did I say “the nation”? I meant Jeff Sessions is only AG for the states he personally approves of. Here are some stories going around today:

Jeff Sessions doesn’t think Hawaii is a state. Bigly’s Muslim Ban 2.0 is still making its way through the federal court system. A few federal judges put holds on the ban, including a federal judge in Hawaii. Well, AG Sessions thinks that’s all nonsense! He told radio host Mark Levin:“I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the president of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and constitutional power.” Do you guys hear the dog-whistle? Hawaiians are not Americans to Jeff Sessions. Hawaii is not really part of America to Jeff Sessions. Jeff Sessions does not understand why a judge in Hawaii would even bother trying to interpret American law.

A DOJ official investigating Trump-Russia is stepping down. Mary McCord was a big part of the DOJ’s investigation into the Trump-Russia connections and now she’s stepping down. She’s been the acting assistant attorney general for national security since October. I find it suspicious that she’s stepping down, but sources insist that the investigation will march on.

Bigly just can’t take the L. Bigly still wants to work on healthcare and Republicans are putting together an Obamacare repeal bill and the vote will be held next week, probably. Contact your congressmen and senators.

The Jason Chaffetz drama. Chaffetz is a Utah Republican representative who chairs the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. He was really looking forward to investigating the sh-t out of a President Hillary Clinton, and he’s been in the f–king wind ever since Bigly won. Well, Chaffetz announced this week that he would not seek re-election. He’s now saying it’s possible he might not even serve out his full two-year term now. He insists that there’s no scandal to come and he just wants to go back to Utah and be an empty-nester with his wife. The whole thing is bizarre and I can’t wait for the scandal to be revealed.

Speaking of conspiracies. I’m not going to do a separate post on this, but Bill O’Reilly’s team accidentally leaked their own email exchanges with Fox News – you can read some of the stuff here. It’s a portrait of an unhinged, paranoid, downward spiral.

Photos courtesy of Getty.