1. Hello. I love Larry David. I probably love Larry more than I love any of my immediate family members, and I definitely love him more I love than any of my extended family members.
Pictured: Larry pointing upwards, trying to convince the audience to elevate their everyday small talk to medium talk.
2. This post isn’t about Larry as much as it’s about the oldest of his two children, Cazzie. Cazzie is Larry’s first-born, and she’s more than just LARRY DAVID’S DAUGHTER, as if that isn’t enough.
I’d pay a lot of money ($3.46) to be Larry David’s child for the day.
What? No, that is not how much is in my savings right now, how dare you?
3. Here is Cazzie, looking better than you while having a cooler father than you, all at the same time:
4. Larry right after he saw that scandalous Instagram of his daughter:
“WHY? WHY MUST YOU PUT YOUR BODY ON THE INTERNET FOR THE WORLD TO SEE?”
6. In “EIGHTY-SIXED,” Cazzie plays Remi, a neurotic, fickle, and Instagram obsessed millennial trying to navigate her social media presence post-breakup.
7. In an interview with Refinery 29, Cazzie says, “”The tone is somewhat realistic. It’s all from Remi’s hypersensitive perspective where she only hears the absolute worst, and if she doesn’t hear it, she imagines it.”
Just like Larry…
8. Do you think she was imagining the worst in this photo of her drinking from a coconut on the beach?
(She’d probably say yes).
9. Oh, and Cazzie is currently dating comedian and SNL heavyweight Pete Davidson.
10. If they have a baby, it’ll have Pete Davidson’s, Cazzie David’s, AND Larry David’s DNA.
What the fuck?